


too many legs under the table

by billionairevolleyboysclub



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Garrison as one big rumor mill, Hook-Up, M/M, Post S7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-27 02:33:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15676254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billionairevolleyboysclub/pseuds/billionairevolleyboysclub
Summary: Team Earth plays a savage game of telephone, much to the horror of Keith and James.________Rizavi gasps, slapping a hand over her mouth."I don't even know where that came from. I didn't even know I knew that, I swear.”Veronica’s eyes go wide. She doesn’t even really know Keith at all other than the mocking impressions Lance would do of his “emo pout” back when they were cadets. But this.This is some tea.





	too many legs under the table

They save Earth (for now), Shiro holds his global pep rally, the paladins get up and out of their hospital beds, and James decides a celebration is _long overdue._

His team ends up scattered on cushions they’ve dragged out of the officers’ lounge onto Rizavi’s floor. The rooms in Atlas are somehow even smaller than their old Garrison dorms but that hasn’t stopped Leifsdottir and Kinkade from comfortably passing out after their second and eleventh drinks respectively.

“Lightweights.” Rizavi complains, pointing to a lightly snoring Leifsdottir with her bottle.

James snorts.

“I’m pretty sure Kinkade drank like three times as much as you have. And he still probably just _chose_ to go to sleep. Didn’t want to hear you talk about your love life anymore.”

Rizavi shrugs. “It’s not my fault you all go to bed alone _._ Even you, Griffin, could be thriving if you wanted to. Just offer to give someone an exclusive tour of the MFEs. Easiest play in the book.”

James rolls his eyes, picking up another bottle and hunting around for the bottle opener.

“Who said I’m not thriving already?”

“Come on,” Rizavi replies, tossing him the bottle opener with surprisingly accurate aim. “When’s the last time you got with someone since Weiss? Or Hilton? And those were both back during training. That was forever ago.”

“See? I didn’t even need the MFEs to be able to pull back then. I do just fine on my own. _Thriving_.” He throws in accompanying hand motions just for kicks.

“Suuure. Suit yourself.”

They sit in silence for a moment, sipping at their beer before a thought crosses Rizavi’s mind.

“Say, did you ever hook up with anyone else in our flight class?”

What looks like a blush crosses James’ face for a fraction of a second, gone before Rizavi can really process it.

“Besides Weiss and Hilton? Maybe. Why?”

“Just wondering. I never bothered. Everyone in our flight class was childish. The engineers though.” Rizavi whistles. “The engineers was were it was at.”

James laughs, adjusting his sprawl on the cushions. Rizavi finishes off her drink with a swig before turning back to James with an intent expression.

“Don’t think you’re off the hook with that ‘maybe’ though. Come on. Who was it?”

James immediately stiffens.

“Uh-uh. No way.”

“Come _on._ It was so long ago! Hardly even matters now that everyone’s scattered across bases anyway.”

“Not exactly.” James mumbles under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Rizavi narrows her eyes suspiciously. It’s time to double down.

“James Griffin, as your fellow pilot, as a team member, a highly capable and skilled and oft-overlooked one at that—”, she ignores the raised eyebrow he sends her way. “—I ask so little of you every day. Because you know what makes the dream work other than team work? Honesty. And trust. And if you can’t trust me then—”

James interrupts her with a mumble. A mumble that sounds suspiciously like “Kogane”.

She pauses.

“Come again?”

James moves his arm off of his face and looks at his bottle, avoiding her gaze.

“It was Kogane ok?”

Rizavi sits in stunned silence for a moment before she bursts into laughter.

He flushes. "What's so funny?"

Rizavi tries to catch her breath.

"Of-Of course. Of course you two idiots got together. The whole 'I hate your guts' gazes were just a cover right? Or were they other kinds of gazes? Oh my god, I should’ve seen this coming."

James tries to sit up in indignation before his head spins and he ends up sprawled on the cushions once again.

"It was only one time ok! It was right after the Kerberos mission launched and his golden boy got launched into space.”

Rizavi lets out an annoyingly pitying “oof”. “So you were the rebound? Damn, that’s even worse.”

“I take back what I said in my toast earlier. I don’t consider any of you my friends.”

“Hey, hey, hey. I tried to flirt with Holt the other day and he didn’t look at me twice. I sorta get it. Something about those space genes right?”

“I didn’t say I was still trying to get with Kogane.” James grumbles.

“But are you?”

“….No.”

“Oh my god. This is tragic.”

James grumbles to himself before he suddenly lurches forward and grabs her wrist.

“Hey, seriously though, this stays between us. No one else hears about this? Got it?”

“Ok, ok. Yeesh.” Rizavi snatches her wrist back. She lets out a yawn and lowers herself back among her cushions. “Fat chance I’ll even remember it in the morning anyway.”

James leans back, contemplating her answer for a second before he settles down among his cushions himself.

“Goodnight Griffin.”

“Goodnight.”

They lay there for a few moments, listening to Leifsdottir’s light snores before Rizavi’s voice cuts through the silence again.

“Have you offered to show him your MFE?”

“..Go to bed Rizavi.”

____________________

She wakes up feeling like death.

There is no way she is letting James convince them to celebrate in _her_ room ever again.

She’s twenty minutes late to her daily breakfast with Veronica and she’s already complaining as she meets her near her room.

“I am drinking and staying up that late ever again.”

Veronica inputs something into her phone and glances up.

“Good morning to you too. I’m guessing you had a date or something last night?”

Rizavi glares blearily.

“I wish. James wanted to have some sort of celebration for the whole liberating Earth thing and no one wanted to go that far and since my room is the most central I stupidly agreed to host it and it was fine except the only problem was of course everyone just passed out at some point and did you know Leifsdottir has not one, not two, but _five_ alarms go off to wake her in the morning? The first is at 0430 and they keep going off in five minute increments—”

Veronica continues to type, nodding sympathetically.

“—And Griffin, oh boy does he snore. I seriously contemplated hopping over to Kinkade’s room in the middle of the night because I could _not_ deal with it. I don’t know how Keith put up with it. Apparently they hooked up or fooled around or something once and I just hope for his sake he didn’t stay the night because Griffin snores like a fuckin—”

Veronica’s fingers stop typing and she looks up.

Rizavi gasps, slapping a hand over her mouth. 

"I don't even know where that came from. I didn't even know I knew that, I swear.”

Veronica’s eyes go wide. She doesn’t even really know Keith at all other than the mocking impressions Lance would do of his emo pout back when they were cadets. But this.

This is some tea.

Rizavi is still struck stationary next to her in the hallway.

“Please tell me you won’t tell James I told you. He’ll like, zap me to the nearest galaxy the next time we’re in the MFEs.”

Veronica puts a hand on Rizavi’s shoulder.

“Hey, hey, hey. Don’t worry. I won’t tell James.”

She mimics zippering her mouth shut and shakes her head.

Rizavi breathes a sigh of relief.

“I know. It’s such juicy intel. But I’m really trying to get along with him a lot more these days. Don’t want to mess up the team dynamic you know?”

“Gotcha.”

_______________

Veronica definitely won’t tell James, she decides as she strolls down to lunch later. But she might tell Lance.

On one hand, she isn't really one for throwing around unsubstantiated rumors about people she hardly knows and hasn't been since like the 8th grade. 

On the other hand, she's a McClain through and through. And if there's one thing McClains love more than their family, it's gossip. She remembers once when she was in sixth grade and Lance was in fourth he told her that their cousin Marco was planning on eloping with his girlfriend and by the next morning the entire family had heard and were settled in the backyard under a makeshift wedding tent with a priest on standby because there was _no way_ Marco was getting married without the rest of the family present. 

Nothing gets past McClain ears.

She decides to casually bring it up at lunch, just to gauge his reaction a bit. She meets him at the Garrison’s cafeteria and cautiously surveys her surroundings before settling for a table near the back of the hall.

Lance meets her there a moment later, setting down his tray with a clatter and launching into a discussion about the newest fixes to Allura’s lion.

Veronica follows along absently, nodding her head and making noncommittal noises in the right places.

“-and it’s especially cool because Blue used to be mine ya know and we really bonded before so-”

“So you’re telling me you and Allura have an _extra_ special bond then?” Veronica interrupts with a smile.

Lance flushes.

“I mean, when you put it that way-”

"So is any one else on your team all coupled up yet or is it just you and the Princess,” She jokes, gently punching him in the shoulder. 

"Me and Allura aren't--we're not-" he sputters before he gets an absently dreamy look on his face. His macaroni and cheese drops off his fork with a splat. 

Veronica gives him a few seconds before she snaps her fingers in front of his face.

"Hey, any one else Romeo?"

Lance startles.

"Not really. Keith and Shiro have been doing some weird 'saving your life' mating dance thing for the past like year but I don't think that counts." He replies, stuffing his mouth. 

"Keith and Shiro huh?"

Lance squints at her between bites, suspicious. 

"Why?"

Veronica shrugs nonchalantly.

"No reason really. I just heard something else about Keith that's all."

Lance freezes for a whole second before he drops his fork with a clatter. 

"You have to tell me _now."_

________________

“KEITH.”

“KEITH KOGANE.”

“KEITH KOGANE TO THE OFFICERS’ LOUNGE IMMEDIATELY.”

“IMMEDIATELY!” Lance yells as he makes his way down the hallway to Keith’s room. There’s an unmistakable grin on his face and a tone in his voice that says. I know something. Oh boy, do I know something.

“CADET KOGANE OH ARE YOU IN FOR A—”

His stride is broken by an arm reaching out to catch his own and he stumbles backward, a strong grip keeping him upright.

“Lance what are you yelling about?” Hunk grumbles, popping out of the kitchen doorway. “You woke up Kosmo.”

Lance pulls him arm back from Hunk before slinging it over Hunk’s broad shoulders.

“Hunk, my friend. We have been blessed today by some _very_ interesting information about our leader and an old classmate. Very interesting indeed.”

Hunk squints. “Oh this doesn’t sound good.”

Lance just shoots him a full grin before he leans in to whisper into Hunk’s ear.

_“Keith. And James. They be fuckin.”_

Hunk’s eyes go big before he furtively glances up and down the hall, then uses his strength to pull Lance into the kitchen and whirls around.

“What?”

“Oh yeah, Veronica told me.”

“And who told her?”

“Who knows?” Lance shrugs, “But I cannot wait to see the look on Keith’s face when I ask him about it.”

Lance attempts to sidestep Hunk, but Hunk steps directly in front of him.

“Uh-uh. No way. I cannot let you do that bro.”

“What?” Lance exclaims, affronted. “Come on, you have to let me have this at least. He tried to get me assigned to morning patrol duty the other day when you all know I’m _not_ a morning person!”

“That was because you drew the short stick first Lance. Plus we’re all rotating anyway so it doesn’t matter.” Hunk points out. “And Keith is our _friend_. We can’t go around spreading rumors about people on the team. That’s not what friends _do.”_ He finishes with a stern look at Lance.

Lance gapes. “Oh come on, that’s what all friends do! What kind of friend group would it be if no one ever gossiped about each other?”

“If he wanted us to know he would’ve shared it with us himself.” Hunk crosses his arms.

Lance shuts his jaw, rubbing it tiredly.

“I can’t believe this.”

“We’re loyal to the team ok? And that includes Keith.”

Lance sulks for a moment before sighing.

“Fine. I guess.”

Hunk looks at Lance for another moment before sticking out his pinky.

“This dies here ok?”

The beginnings of a grimace appear on Lance’s face before he relents and hooks his pinky to Hunk’s.

“Yeah yeah, this dies here. Whatever.”

_________________

Hunk’s glad that’s been taken care of.

The last thing he needs is another blow-up like the one when they were stuck floating in space.

He turns back to the kitchen as Lance leaves sullenly behind him. He hopes Kosmo hasn’t eaten any of the ingredients off the counter in the mean time.

“Hey!” He exclaims, rushing over to take a packet of ham out of Kosmo’s jaws as he tries to chew around the plastic. “Bad dog! Uh--wolf! This isn’t for you.”

Kosmo whines, flopping down at Hunk’s feet and looking up at him with a pout.

Hunk sighs, weak to his expression, and leans down to give him a belly rub.

“We’ll find you something you can eat ok? I’ll ask your dad Keith what he usually feeds you.”

Hunk continues petting him absentmindedly.

“Can you believe it huh? Keith and James. I always thought it was gonna be Shiro but who knows what goes on with those two.”

He switches to scratching behind Kosmo’s ear as Kosmo looks up at him quizzically.

“Your dad sure has some weird taste in men.”

Too late, he hears the swish of electronic doors close shut behind his back.

He whips around to face Pidge, a dirty dish dangling from her hand, as she stands baffled near the doorway.  

"Uh. What did I just hear?"

_________________

Pidge has never claimed to be a saint ok?

And she really has no beef with Keith. Really. This is just a completely objective investigation into a rumor that is probably just Lance’s imaginative doing and she just needs a full rundown of the cold hard facts before she locks this away in her long mental list of potential blackmail material for use only in a crisis. 

Hunk has nothing to worry about. She’ll probably never bring this up to Keith. Probably.

Either way, Pidge does not deal in false information. The idea goes against her very being. Keith and James have either hooked up or they haven’t and there’s only one person on this ship she trusts to give her an unbiased truth. Someone who has absolutely no reason to lie about the facts of this situation.

She goes off to find Kinkade.

She gets to him at the loading dock, right before he and Keith are about to set out on a supply run on the AW-Cruiser.

“Hey!” She calls out, out of breath as she runs up to the back of the cruiser as Kinkade shuts the trunk. He shows no sign of surprise or confusion at her approach.

“IsittruethatKeithandJameshookedup?” She asks quickly, hands on her knees to catch her breath.

Keith pokes his head out of the passenger side of the AW-Cruiser, addressing Kinkade. “Are we ready to go?”

Kinkade looks back at Keith before turning back to Pidge.

He blinks for a second before the corner of his mouth twitches in what appears to be the world’s smallest half-grin, then walks away toward the driver’s side of the cruiser.

Pidge audibly gasps.

Hypothesis confirmed.  

_____________

Keith has decided that Kinkade is his favorite member of the MFEs squad. He’s adept, capable, and he knows the value of peace and quiet.

The supply run goes smoothly and they load up the AW-Cruiser once more before setting back to base as the sun begins to set.

He’s almost beginning to drift off, lulled by the flat desert surroundings and the occasional sound of radio static coming from their communicator when Kinkade taps his fingers against the steering wheel once.

Keith’s eyes are drawn to the movement.

"So. James huh?"

Keith blinks.

“—Um. What?”

Kinkade keeps his eyes locked on the road, showing no hints of replying.

The longer the silence drags on, the more terrifying of a realization dawns on Keith.

Oh no.

Oh hell no.

________________

"I spent _two hours_ in a car with him and he wouldn't budge or say another word. _Two hours_ James!"

Keith isn’t typically one for dramatics, but he thinks he’s pretty justified in bursting into James’ room after one of the longest car rides of his life.

He’s got James cornered in his own bedroom, finger pointed squarely in his chest as James argues with him exasperatedly.

“How do you even know he was talking about us?”

“What _else_ would it mean? And why is he so cryptic about everything anyway?”

“That’s just how he is.” James shoots back defensively, “And I’m telling you, Kinkade doesn’t know anything.”

“Well then you must’ve told someone who told him!”

James groans and rubs at his face tiredly.

“ _Fuck._ ”

“Who did you tell?”

“…I didn’t mean to ok? I was…really drunk.”

“Who was it?”

“Rizavi. She got it out of me. She probably just told Kinkade and Leifsdottir to mess with me. I doubt any one outside my team knows.” He glances at Keith between the gaps in his fingers. “Don’t worry I’m sure it hasn’t gotten back to Shiro yet.”

Keith pales at the thought, dropping the finger pushed into James’ chest. He groans, sitting down with a flop onto the edge of James’ bed.

“Or worse, my mom. _‘Hey mom, remember that boy I told you about who once mocked the fact that I thought both you and dad were dead? Yeah, what you heard was true. I did hook up with him two years later.’_ ”

James grimaces, pushing off the wall to swivel his desk chair around to face Keith. Their knees nearly touch in the close quarters of the room.

“You told your mom about me?”

Keith flushes.

“Not exactly good things.”

James frowns.

“Guess there weren’t too many good things to tell about me back then anyway.”

Keith sighs. “That’s not entirely true. By the time we were in our third year we’d both gotten off each other’s case for the most part.”

“For the most part,” James nods, lost in his own thoughts. “I think I was mostly just jealous of you. You made everything look so easy and did it your own way then didn’t even care about who you pissed off in the process.”

“And then I washed up.”

“And then you washed up.” James repeats. “And I never even apologized.”

Keith looks up and meets James’ eyes, startled.

“I’m sorry for what I said, and how I treated you. You didn’t deserve that.” James scratches the back of his neck, uncomfortable. “Especially after we hooked up third year I figured we were pretty much good and that I didn’t have to apologize. But I still should’ve. It was shitty of me.”

Keith fidgets silently for a moment, obviously uncomfortable with the unexpected heart-to-heart.

“…Thanks…that uh—means a lot, I guess.” Keith’s face scrunches up as if confused by his own emotions.

James fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“Yeah. Glad it’s all behind us then.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Keith shifts, accidentally knocking James’ knees with his own in his hurry to stand up. “And make sure Rizavi doesn’t tell any one else alright?”

James stands up, following Keith to the doorway. “Sure, no one else has to hear about our very _brief_ former encounter.”

Keith is halfway out the door when he whirls around as if insulted. “Wait, what exactly did you tell her?”

“Nothing! Nothing just that we hooked up once. That’s all I said. No details.”

Keith eyes him suspiciously.

“I remember I gave you the world’s sloppiest handjob then you got on your knees and blew me.” Keith recaps bluntly, raising a single eyebrow.

James sputters.

“Way to make me sound like keeper.”

“We were in a storage closet.”

“You think I don’t remember?” James shoots back, “I had hickies visible from Mars the next day.”

Keith has the courtesy to blush.

“Look, it won’t come up again.” James sighs, “And if it does I’ll even lie and tell them you blew me back just to make it look reciprocal.” He adds dryly.

Keith stares back at him with an indecipherable expression and the longer the silence drags on between them, the surer James is that he’s just majorly fucked up.

“Did you want me to?”

He chokes.

“Want you to what?”

Keith’s face only gets redder, but it’s a testament to his determination that lifts his chin and keeps his gaze fixed on James.

“Blow you.”

James feels a hot pulse run through his body almost immediately at his words. Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck._ Rizavi was right. It has been way too long. He really should be taking people up to see his MFE. Maybe this whole situation could’ve been avoided.

“You want to?” James asks disbelievingly.

“Do _you?_ ” Keith shoots back.

They stare at each other intensely across the doorway as if trying to read the other’s mind.

James is the first to snap.

“You’re still infuriating sometimes you know that?” He grits out as he pulls Keith back into his room by the lapels of his uniform.

Keith opens his mouth to protest before James’ mouth meets his hotly, and James fists a hand in his hair to keep his face against his. Their bodies move together like reckless cadets again and James figures that technically, he guesses that’s what they are.

He pulls away to suck on Keith’s neck as his free hand attempts to pull Keith’s undershirt from his belt and Keith moans.

“Wait-wait-wait” Keith breathes out suddenly, using his grip on James’ jacket to push him against the wall.

“Ow,” James rubs at his elbow in annoyance, “What?”

“This also-” Keith swallows, “we can’t tell anyone.”

James rolls his eyes. “So basically don’t let it get back to Shiro? Got it.”

Keith’s eyes grow heated again as he pushes James’ jacket off his shoulders.

“Ok. Good.”

______________________

Keith stays the night, despite his determination not to. He passes out on top of James like they’re a _couple_ or something.

Luckily, he wakes up early enough to extract himself from James’ arms before he notices and it isn’t until Keith is fully dressed that James rouses awake.

“What time is it?” He asks, yawning as he pulls on his nearest pair of pants.

“It’s nearly six.”

“ _Fuck_ I was supposed to be at the launchpad thirty minutes ago.” He exclaims, jumping up to hunt for an undershirt.

Keith takes this as his cue to leave, trying his best to step out of James’ room as discretely as possible in his disheveled uniform.

He’s finally out the door when he hears footsteps and a familiar voice turning the corner.

“Griffin you were supposed to report to the launchpad at 0530. Is everything-”

Shiro stops dead on his feet.

“Keith?”

Keith stands frozen near James’ doorway, body doing little to block a still shirtless James crouched behind him.

“Shiro?”

James straightens up at a glacial pace, daring a quick glance at Keith who looks as if he’s about to spontaneously combust.

“My apologies, Captain.” James forces out after a short eternity, along with the greatest farce of a salute the world has ever seen.

Shiro snaps his pen in half.

 _This one’s not my fault._ James mouths when Keith throws him a desperate glance and James quickly backs into his room and lets the door slide shut in front of him.

**Author's Note:**

> and Shiro White ManTM blinks into eternity and Keith essentially explains “ur the only one for me” only without those words and maybe a “brother” thrown in and they miscommunicate for the next like century while James still gets it every now and then
> 
> catch me on tumblr under the same username
> 
> comments always always appreciated and loved


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